Online Harrassment and bullying a TED Talk from Canada

Hi Matt Read and everyone at Read’s Titties 1 and 2 and any other group he owns!

This will be the last post I place on social media about you…listen up!

I have been in touch with an attorney and everything you have said about me online since booting me from your group is considered slander, liable, defamation of character, and harassment.

I will admit to a bit of harassment as well in posting about you and your group in trying to achieve a public apology, that ends tonight! But nothing I have posted or said has ever been a lie!

If you continue to harass or post about me online you can expect a federal lawsuit as we live in different states!

This has been a TED Talk on how to deal with online bullying!

Love & Light


Monica Lewinsky, happy birthday lady friend!


I have some well warm wishes for you and your family!

But first my backstory on why I am saying happy birthday to a complete stranger online.

I was in 6th grade in 1997 and a curious news junkie already.

My mom never sheltered us from the news and let us watch any and everything news!

So I met you that year!

Something about your bubbly face framed by your gorgeous locks made me instantly like you, you were a little chunky like me too. And if a man like Bill Clinton was willing to throw his entire life away for a brief romance with you then you must have been some kind of wonderful!

Hilary I am with you because unfortunately I am a Bill. I allowed my childhood traumas and grief over the death of my mother drag me into the deepest depths of my despair and I cheated!

I felt horrid, wretched, like scum between my toes, pond scum, worse than pond scum even I felt evil!

The very day after my first sexual encounter with a man other than my husband I dragged hubs to therapy to confess, I couldn’t keep this secret and this lie I loved him, he is afterall my lobster.

We decided in that therapy session that due to my grief, his work schedule and the kids that there was just no time for physical intimacy between us. He actually factually agreed to let me pursue relationships outside our marriage if I A)never brought home an STD or baby B)was discreet enough the kids didn’t know.

Lies aren’t really my thing and hiding my emotions is next to impossible, my kids don’t know I cheated yet, when they are old enough to read this blog I guess we have a conversation then. Until then I carry the burden of fear that when they find out they will hate me and for a time our relationship will shatter. I will love them through it and I know their love for me will return when they achieve forgiveness until then I am afraid of how they will judge me and hurt for their father.

I am Pansexual.

If I have love for you and we are clicking and vibing chances are I find you physically attractive too. So…when I was seeking these other relationships I fell in love, over and over and over again trying to achieve my version of happy.

Soul crumbs, for those that were in the know when it happened and those whom it happened with, I love you! If I had love for you once even as a friend it kinda means I always got love for you. I forgive, so if we’ve had a falling out and you want back in just apologize. I do not however forget, I accept, heal, and grow from love!

Back to Monica it is after all her birthday, a day to celebrate her and her mother, the woman who brought her into this world!

Monica my mom took me on a trip to Washington D.C.  when I was 13. We went with her cousin and daughter who was 12. That trip those memories and those women, my moms entire Jersey clan oh boy do I love them. Big big Soul Crumbs they take up so much space in my so filled heart!

Us girls being 12 & 13 and knowing all about current events because that’s how our mother’s raised us came up with 2 songs, diddies, jingles if you will during our time in D.C.

Penis penis penis I made you out of clay

And when your hard and ready I’ll fuck you right away!

Sung to the tune of dreidel dreidel dreidel, Have I told you I’m still salty hubs got Ashkenazi Jew in his 23 & Me results and I got bupkis for jewish heritage at least genetically speaking!

The other diddy was about you and Bill and as soon as me and my cousin piece back our memory of how it went I would love to share it with just you and Bill before I tell the world.

I don’t like to put people on blast on the interwebs or in real life unless I have to. So if I have a story or memory of you I want to share that includes your real name I will ask first. Some of my friends have just given me carte blanche to write about our times together. #SQUADGOALS

Now back to cheating, I took my wedding bands off on February 24th of 2017, they found their way back last summer. Hubs and I renewed our vows July 15th SAint Swithin’s Day. Friday one of Moles makes sure I can never take it off again, yes mamas getting ink and yes I’m doing the cheesy ass oh so common infinity symbol. I love infinity, to infinity and beyond! That’s how much I love my husband. 

My tattoo artist is so down for this ink but he did the typical you know tattoos are permanent and fingers tattoos fade conversation I’m sure he gives all his clients.

Yes I know finger tattoos fade fast and need an annual touch up to really sparkle! Just like my wedding rings get cleaned and made to sparkle every 6 months my wedding band will need a touch up annually and god forbid if our love shall fade and he leaves me once and for all the tattoo will be a gentle reminder we were once so in love I was willing to get it etched onto my body and I can allow it to fade in time the same way we may. God I pray with all my soul he stays. I love him so!

HIlary I get you, you stayed! You dug your stubborn ass lady feet right into the ground and said fuck no your behaviors and actions will not break our bond and destory our family we will lean the fuck in and get through this shit together and you did it all with beauty and grace in the daunted and unrelenting eyes of the world. SLAY BITCH SLAY!

Monica back to you for one last diddy.

I spew, it’s what I do!

I had hyperemesis gravidarum for all 5 of my pregnancies from day one until about 10 days after birth, I have PCOS and wicked high estrogen levels. I had 3 miscarriages all boys, weeks 6-8, 8-10, and 10-12 respectively. My doctors had originally told hubs and I we had not only a whopping 50% chance of conceiving naturally but I only had a 15% chance to be able to carry a pregnancy to term! Hubs and I were getting our adoption scrapbook in place when we fell pregnant for the second time which made our Elder Wand! The fertility clinic called when she was 3 months old as the year they had given us to try and conceive naturally had past and they wanted to know if we wanted to schedule an intake. No thanks I said fighting back tears, I’m currently nursing my daughter. We don’t need your help anymore but thank you all so much for the help in the beginning!

This blog is a spew. As I write and listen to music and type this out or prewrite in my head I get emotional. I get nauseous. I even sometimes vomit. Thanks Hyperemesis PTSD!

Monica spew, and if you have things you want to say to the world but can’t take the shit they spew back let me be your shield and shelter, blog under my pseudonym or any other moniker you want! Get that shit out and fight back the hate turned your way by simply doing you and living your best life. Also I know your personal business ventures haven’t always turned out great because of peoples wicked opinion of a 20 something who would dare to desecrate the Oval Office and have sex (in any form) with a married man. Sis I got your back, want to sell purses again let’s do this shit, sell under my brand and nonprofit anonymously and we can set up whatever charitable fund you want with your portion of the proceeds beyond your salary!!!


Wanna be a Mole!?!?!

So since we are all stuck at home twiddling on thumbs on social media anyhow, why not make an impact and help me Rage against the machine! Damn the man, let’s burn this mother down!

Okay Moles, family, soul crumbs mama needs help the unpaid just cause you love me kind.

After I mail out the first round of preorders and masks that’s it for the nest egg that started this! We can subsist on hub’s paycheck but my unemployment was bank rolling this business at about $200 a week. So now is the time, if you have love for me and want to support me and this local small business and nonprofit I have a mission!

When I assign tasks to my friends and Board of Directors I call them Mole missions.

So Mole mission…blow up the interwebs with me!

Twitter every trending topic gets a retweet with #covid19moles 💜🇨🇦 from me! Now it’s your turn! #covid19moles and any love and moniker you like!

FB every post you make include #covid19moles or the link!

Instagram #covid19moles

Snapchat #covid19moles

Make me a reddit thread we love #blackpeople and #whitepeople posts on reddit , it’s fun to laugh at the crazy ass stereotypes you cracker ass crackers!

Memes all the fucking memes you all post anyway #covid19moles

You get the picture!

Love & Light
Canada aka HBIC aka Mole CEO and founder!

Are you there God? It’s me Canada!


Are you listening!?!

I think you are, I have seen the world turned, flipped upside down since Covid-19 hit and I am so fucking over it!

Are you?

Join me and my new small business venture and nonprofit save the effing World!

A bit of background, I was a Case Manager in Social Work from age 19 to 32! I never did get to call myself a true Social Worker and still can’t. I’m 8 classes shy of a bachelors but I don’t need to waste my money on education that doesn’t advance and support my family income while putting me in debt and neither do you!

Follow your dreams and passions and get the only education you need in life beyond highschool, live your life and spread love, hope and joy!

I was a massage therapist when Covid-19 hit and gave my last massage on February 27th 2020 to my dear friend and Soul Crumb Veronica!

I am a Reiki master!

I started EMDR Trauma Therapy in April, do it, do it now!

When I began to process my mother’s death I took a turn to the deep end. I am bipolar with a smattering of PTSD, anxiety, and undiagnosed OCD.

With the love and support of my friends and family I was safe the entire time, even if the people around me weren’t mentally safe due to my hysterics and grief. We are rebuilding!

This entire business and nonprofit was born from love, the pure and unconditional love of a mother.

Celia Ann Cook Darrow!

Stay tuned for The Covid-19 Moles YouTube Channel and my good friends podcast The Nerdy Veteran!

Goober will be interviewing and promoting small businesses on his podcast.

The YouTube Channel will just be little old me, rocking out in the; car, kitchen and while I type out this blog. Join my jam sessions and see how music has allowed me to not only heal but reconnect with long lost friends and regain lost memories!

I love music!

Love & Light


This is Jeopardy!

Who is Alex Trebek!

Happy Birthday dude!!!

Soul Crumb right there in Alex, a big one!

I spent every night Monday thru Friday with him and contestants at 7pmEST. All of them!

Yes this is ultimately a blog about my mother, sorry not sorry she is amazing!

God I wish I had found QI before she passed away; humor with a quiz show element that sparks debates and conversation and sparks fevered google searches to learn more, more, more! 

Never stop learning kiddos, like ever! The brain is an organ and muscle and must be fed, watered, and exercised just like the rest of our body. People in the late stages of life often lose touch with reality and go a little off. Ask a CNA, they are the ones who care for our elders when we can’t anymore! Essential heroes, and soul crumbs all! Can we pay these people already!?!

Back to the man, the myth, the legend George Alexander Trebek OC Born July 22nd 1940 in guess where CANADA!

My mom was an intelligent woman and loved a good fun fact, laugh and debate!

Jeopardy was our after dinner meditation if you will. Dinner was done the dishes had just been cleared and 7pmEST meant THIS IS JEOPARDY!

Darrow living room rules apply, whoever can shout out the answer first wins the point (no we never actually kept score, doesn’t matter she won everything anyways!), if you’re really stumped the default answer is to shout MARK TWAIN as loud as you can faster than someone else can give the right answer, and most of all no talking during a question, hush Alex is speaking!

I could never be on Jeopardy and win, we do not form the answer in a proper response what/who is…

Celia once blurted out PENGUIN about a question about migratory Arctic birds. HAHAHAHA we all died in laughter. She was so wrong, how could mom be so wrong. In her defense she was still cleaning up pots and pans and scrubbing in the kitchen and only heard the first part of the question. But um Penguins don’t live in the Arctic for one and secondly the answer was the Arctic Tern. 

We are bird lovers (me a little less cause their beady little eyes and sharp beaks creep me the fuck out). We have an audubon book about birds of North America that belonged to my grandfather, Edward Allen Cook. We look things up, we puzzle over the fact that more and more of the birds we look up to aren’t really supposed to be in our climate band, look out folks, the apocalypse is coming and it will be all our fault! This year did take an interesting turn for us bird watching wise, the first year we didn’t find a nest 😦 We did however get to meet the Rose-breasted Grosbeak, a bird that has been on the decline in our area since the 1960s. Unfortunately seeing them also meant we met the Cowbird, noisy prick that they are and brood parasites too.

Happy Birthday Alex Trebek and here here to Betty White replacing you when you go, I agree she would be perfect! But if you could hold on just long enough for my mom to become famous enough to become a Jeopardy question that would be fucking phenomenal!!!

Love and Light,


Who was Celia Ann Cook Darrow?

Sending Out an SOS to the World

Ok World here’s the deal, I’m semi up to date on world events now.

Holy Fuck I take some time off and y’all done gone crazy!

#ripjeffbezos #ripellen #wtf #pizzagate

We all have good and evil within us, yin and yang the natural order to things. What we choose to let in and spew out is our choice and our choice alone!

Yes when we are unhealthy mentally, emotionally, and physically we tend towards hate, anger, rage, and every unhealthy thing we humans do to ourselves and others!


Obama was right!

True forgiveness can happen when the hurt party receives a full and sincere apology that includes a promise of your changed behavior in the future!

World, global Mole challenge number one!

If you have hurt someone in your life past or present make your future and theirs better! Apologize and change or modify your future behavior towards that person or with that action in the future.

No not everyone is ready for the apology you have to offer, that bit is on them. Let them breathe and process and if you never hear from them again, oh well you’re still a decent human being and you wish the same for them, don’t you!?!

The forgiveness I want from the World right now, I have hurt many people in my path to self discovery and finding out how to live this thing called life and for that I am deeply and truly sorry to each and everyone of you! Join the forgiveness and apology train, toot toot!

I will accept any apology made to me just allow me the time to process the apology and notice your changed behaviors before approaching me again. Keep reaching out and exhibit your changed behavior so I know you’re legit and truly want forgiveness and love from me.

My love is all I have to give I am not a rich woman, yet 🙂

Celebrities, mega ultra elite bajillionaires, this part is for your eyes!

Make a public apology for your behaviors then get into some fucking therapy and deal with your shit! But first reparations! Yep like the black people we enslaved and tortured, raped, and abused should have been given 40 acres and a mule!

I want fucking interest and so do they!!!

If you have hurt or harmed another human in your path and on your journey I ask you this…

Meet with an accountant, set up enough money, $100k a year salary for yourself, your partners and families and staff. We mere mortals do it annually on a lot less!

Then whatever cash remains should be used as such in my humble opinion; give 25% to your living victims, 25% to set up a charitable fund of your choice which any heirs or descendants of your vile behaviors being the recipients, the last 50% can be donated to the Covid-19 Moles LLC non-profit charity.

We Moles will use these funds to better our worlds as we see fit! If you give enough I can make all my dreams come true, which means together we can heal the world and survive Covid-19!

This is how Mama Bear will give you absolution and forgiveness, it does not mean I want you in my life or bubble or anywhere near my dang kids!!!

Other Celebrities, Soul Crumbs dudes that got my back you are also more than welcome to contribute, an annual Patreon subscription of $100 isn’t that much and there are enough of you out there that to be honest my monetary goal atm is only $10k to recoup what I’ve put into this business already and buy us our next round of merchandise and podcast equipment!

By the way I really love gifts!!! And I am a great gift giver just ask the Moles!!!

Birthdays of an affiliate member or sponsor will be celebrated by me!!! You get trinkets from me, a donation made to any charitable organization you like (that I vibe with of course) postcards on any given Sunday once I have your address, and a special birthday blog about how you and your art contributed to my life!!!

How do you like me now bitches???

This has been a TED Talk on how to achieve Utopia and Nirvana! And my message in a blog bottle!

Love and Light,


Robin Williams, Happy Birthday dude!

July 21, 1951 – August 11, 2014

Robin Williams!

I never ever want to grow up! Peter Pan

When you’re alone HOOK

Mom please tell me you found him in the new place, the place beyond!

She missed out on seeing you live because she was too ill and fragile so I took Hubs, Buhpa and the brother.

Michael Jackson may have been a pedophile and he may not have been, but on my mother’s birthday in 2009 when I was gravely ill with Hyperemesis Gravidarum he died and I felt little spurts of happy as I rocked out and threw up to every song he ever released!

Farrah Fawcett died the same day and year as The King of Pop so her life was put in shadow but I pray that the true loves of her life were able to heal and grieve a bit more privately. Because if you remember the speech Paris Jackson gave about her daddy then you know how hard I cried for her in those tearful moments!

Back to Robin it is afterall his birthday!

He died on my eldest child’s birthday when she was only 4, she will know your humor and love!

I took my morning toke with Robin today in preparation to write this blog. I prayed he had found peace and my mother and laughter. I thanked him for all the joy and sorrow his art brought me. My entire body shivered and my hairs stood on end, love you to soul crumb!

Love and Light 



If water holds memories and I am made up of 65% water then look out cause most of these memories are for and about her. The ultimate Mother in every sense of the word. My heart, my body, my soul!

So if you read my post about Olaf and memories then check this out.

Small Fry was watching me measure the fridge today, it’s dying I need a new one STAT!

Small Fry: Mama whatcha doin?

Canada: Well mama needs to buy a new fridge cause this one is dying.

Small Fry: Dying? Fridges can’t die; they aren’t even alive.

Canada: Well they aren’t alive, alive but they have working parts that sometimes give up and wear out so they need to be replaced just like everything else that dies.

Small Fry: Like Grandma died?

Canada: Yes like Grandma died. Everything and everyone is made up of matter and we all wear out breakdown and die some day.

Here’s where she blew my mind!

Small Fry: Water doesn’t die mama, just evaporates and then rains!

This child will be 5 in 9 days!!!

Canada: That’s true water is the only thing that does not die, it transforms and goes though various phases but never truly dies!

Small Fry: So where is Grandma?

This is where I break down and cry, just tears of joy utter joy!!!

If water never dies and our bodies are water at least by 65% then it’s true!


Mom I’m ready for you when you come back!!! I think you may already be here in Ollie!

Thanks for sending Rosie when you did I needed him!

Canada: Grandma was cremated, so her body is ash and the rest of her body evaporated away into the heavens, that’s where Grandma is!

Small Fry: Grandma used to feed me and change my stinky butt! Cause when you’re a baby you need diapers but I am potty trained now!

Thank God my kids know when I need a quick laugh through a tearful moment!

Canada: And you know Grandma loved you so, so much, She loved you even more than Mommy loves you and I love you all the Universe and back!

Small Fry: Love you more


So I dedicate this blog and my entire life to my mother’s memory, the water, and everyone who had my back today!

Last step in this journey of a business, Covid-19 Moles! Has been certified as a Connecticut non-profit Organization.

My final charitable trust and endowment will be to establish global town halls!

Every town in every nation will get a Covid-19 Moles! Pandemic Memorial Town Hall in Honor and Everlasting loving memory of CELIA ANN COOK DARROW!

The town hall will be set up to mirror the United States Holucaost Memorial Museum in Washington D.C.

Any Mole from that town who dies due to Covid-19 will have their names memorialized and etched into the remembrance hall. There will be a second level with viewing galleries for all our blog submissions and pictures from this time. Each Mole may contribute small trinkets or tokens of this time of isolation to be displayed in shadow boxes along the walls and courtyards.

Every court yard will be planted with flowers and herbs that deter pesky bugs and also a plot of land for a Community Garden!

Are you in!?!

Before you get all excited remember this blog and business and nonprofit and eventual trust and endowment is a baby, We were born on MAY 30TH 2020!

I have yet to secure funding for anyone of these wild ideas! So the current Moles make a living fair wage when I contract them for small projects like creating our original artwork and submitting blog submissions and such.

I have pre order sales for masks and essential oils but have not made a dime off this idea yet and have dumped our nest egg into starting this business. What’s a rainy day fund good for if you don’t tap into it when it’s a rainy fucking year! Thanks Covid!

When we can turn a profit all Moles will make a living wage! I will never bring anyone on to staff that I don’t approve of and that doesn’t understand and live the brand I’m creating but I will always and forever pay a living wage!!!

50% of proceeds from all merchandise sales or donations are tax deductible for you the buyer/donor as 50% of sales go directly back into the nonprofit and the other 50% will go into trust for the end game Covid-19 Moles! Pandemic Memorial Museum and town hall!

All Board of Directors are my friends currently, we are just missing a good accountant so if you know anyone!?!

Amazon Jeff Bezos, FaceBook Mark Zuckerburg, Twitter Jack Dorsey, Bill and Melinda Gates, The lovelies at WordPress, y’all got me this far, wanna back me and make this blow up? You got the cash I have the drive and ambition, let’s do this shit! Let me hold $20 million or so I’m good for it, swear!

Love & Light,


And don’t forget you’re basically a house plant with more complicated emotions, Hydrate bitches!!! 

Olaf was right!

Olaf is right, water does hold memory! 

My massage therapist teacher Rich is an awesome soul crumb! He did a fun thing with us one day with water!

If you hold a cup of water and put intention into it then freeze it the water will react to that intention while freezing!

Take a cup of water and hold it in your hands pour every ounce of everything of any mood into that cup, focus all your energy on that water! Then freeze!

Someone made an angry cup and it literally exploded in the freezer! Mine was love and the water was just nice and clear with a few bubbles trapped inside.

When I fill my ice cube trays at home I try to set the intention of hydration for my body, mind, and soul. But also that when I crack them the ice will either all come out or I get a crushed ice effect, I love crushed ice! I need one of those restaurant grade ice machines in my house!!! STAT!

So when Olaf told everyone water had memories and Elsa was able to see the past I didn’t doubt them for a minute!!!

Today’s homeschooling lesson, freeze your mood!

Reiki for physical healing

It’s the end of the world as we know it!

I spent some time in the hospital recently for a variety of reasons we won’t go into right now.

Reiki Master that I am, I used every Reiki tool in my toolbox for the 6 days I was there.

Today on my last day I finally was able to Reiki another human besides myself! A lovely older woman in her 60’s. A new friend I hope reaches out when she is home!

I started the same way I start every session with a quick internal check on my energy and I ask for a little extra juice from the universe to help me replenish as I go.

I no sooner started then I needed to back out and be done! Reiki and energy work is very draining and can cause the Reiki Master in question to feel the physical pains of the souls they work on.

Her head hurts! I stopped as soon as I had a clear picture of what was going on. Her right temporal lobe was full of calcification! I stopped, she said omg why am I so cold all of the sudden!?! I asked if she had had a recent cat scan of her head, “6 months ago, why?”

Your right side is very foggy and covered in calcifications. She said yeah they told me my skull fracture has healed but I had Temporal Arthritis because of it! Bam! Her headaches are being caused by the pressure the calcifications are putting on her temporal lobe!!! 

I advised her to ask the doctor for any arthritis meds they could suggest along with anti inflammatories! 

This is how Reiki can heal, I am not a medical doctor nor do I ever claim to be but I can sense things that are off in your body and give you information to bring to your doctor. Advocating for your healthcare is a horrid task for anyone, but armed with information on why you think your hurting gives the doctors a jumping off point. This is how Reiki helps heal your body!